My December holiday is soon approaching and it will be the first flight I will take since my lungs and heart turned to shit 6 years ago.
I’ve always had my medical condition, but following through with a pregnancy that was strongly advised against sorta added to the mix a little.
My son is now 5 turning 6 and I’ve been too scared to travel and missed many fun opportunities and planned trips that I’ve chickened out of with the fear that the cabin pressure will be the end of me.
I’m on full time oxygen for those who don’t know and I take it off a few hours a day to run errands. Some days though I need to keep it on if I am run down or have the latest flu. My oxygen levels are low and the oxygen helps me produce the oxygen my body can’t produce on it’s own. Air is not free for me.
I’ve contacted the drs and completed all the required paperwork, they said I will be ok…. Can someone tell my nightly anxiety attacks that I will be?!
I drove past the airport on Sunday coming back from a family gathering and my heart was beating as I looked at the giant plane and the million tiny windows. Why do flights have to be so long?! 15 hours to LA from Sydney!! I wish I could time travel or enter a machine that can flash me there instantly.
I will have oxygen on the plane, I have arranged it with the airline and the quality of the oxygen will be hospital grade. 100% oxygen at 4 litres per minute. I know I will be ok, but then some little voice creeps in and asks me “will you?!” I really want to punch the shit out of that voice!… Isn’t that voice me? I need coffee.
I don’t normally get all worked up about things for long, I have a super strong mind and often manage to put mind over matter.
As the holiday gets closer, the fear gets stronger. I’ve even developed a small stutter, brain over load I think.
I began doing some self talk- call me crazy, but self talk is sometimes helpful… As long as it’s not negative self talk. I went through all the fun things I’m going to do on the holiday, the photos I will take and the memories I will make. Probably the best chat I’ve had in a while.
Death…..I can’t go anywhere right now…. I haven’t even knocked off half of my bucket list (nor finished writing it)
On the 13th of December, I will be boarding a plane. I know I’ll probably have a slight melt down prior, but I will be getting on that plane.
I’m determined to live and enjoy life, not arrive at death bored and begging for the angel of death to take me.
Anyone else have complications with flying?