The other night I went to the grocery store to get a few things quickly, while I was there I ran into an old work colleague, I worked with her almost ten years ago, her name is Helene.
We would often have a morning chat and sometimes lunch, nothing deep and meaningful, but enough to form a friendship and value each other. I was newly married at the time and she was a well known career woman that motivated me to be more than I imagined I could be and she always listened with some good advice in return.
Helene and I began reminiscing a little about our old work place, she was remembering some of the pleasant moments – but I dug out my mentally stored“box of junk” covered with cobwebs and spiders from many years ago that I thought I was over, but clearly wasn’t. (Insert blushed cheeks with embarrassment)
I began remembering how my former boss had me running around like a slave and working far more hours than I was paid for, taking on projects I had no experience to do and managing staff with no former experience doing so, I recalled that I set up his new office in my own time and put in many hours doing so.
Once all the hard work was completed my former boss informed me that his new partner at the new branch didn’t want me to come on board as he didn’t like me, I was too loud even though I set up all the admin and accounts at the new branch for him and his new secret partner, surely his new partner knew this before I did all the free work.
My boss informed me I was to stay behind so he could sell and handover the first office easier.
I had to say goodbye to all the friends that were at this point like family as they went to the new branch and I stayed behind dealing with the loss and the fear of uncertainty.
The guy that bought the place was a chauvinist pig with a raging temper, working for him was impossible and mentally and emotionally challenging, his own wife couldn’t handle him and many people took their business elsewhere because of his repulsive “I don’t give a shit” attitude as they walked into the office.
One day the new boss gave me 30 mins to fix a laser printer or I was out. I explained to him the best I could over his tantrum that I wasn’t a printed technician and I wasn’t able to get a technician out to see it earlier than the next day.
It was that day I voluntarily packed my desk and began a new journey, Walking away was the most liberating moment as I felt free and sane.
I was infuriated at the time, my former boss sold the office and left me with a promised job with a monster.
I felt cheated and have always carried that feeling of betrayal and dismay that someone I thought cared about me could do that, I thought being a fantastic employee would earn his loyalty. That was a major event in my life that chipped away a little of my soul at the time and burst my bubble belief that the world was full of honest people. It was my first real band-aid ripping moment that stayed with me.
Helene and I continued talking and poor Helene probably wanted to run by that point…. It was years ago, why the hell am I still carrying that with me?
My former boss made a business decision at the time and I lost out. Shit happens, Right?
Helene too got shafted and lied to also, she too was promised a role in the new branch, and she moved some of her contacts and files over to help boost the new office before she came across….. She never got the role, the secret partner didn’t like her either. She however dealt with her crap a long time ago; she seemed to be in a place of Zen.
After spilling my guts of all my stored up hurt about my former boss and his dip shit secret partner ….I felt sick, I honestly felt gross and ugly inside and outside. It wasn’t my finest moment. The reunion turned to shit.
Helene gave me a hug and kindly suggested that I let the whole thing go for my health…. she was right. Once again, Helene had good advice.
I drove home feeling foolish. My husband was glad to see me home and began to feel worried to why my five minute trip was one hour.
A day later… I stumbled across this email from Oprah, good timing Oprah….and there were some quotes that I liked
“The past does not equal the future unless you live there” –Anthony Robbins
“Without freedom from the past, there is no freedom at all” – Krishnamurti
“When we….go back into the past and rake up all the troubles we’ve had, we end up reeling and staggering through life. Stability and peace of mind come by living in the moment” – Pam Vredevelt
There were other quotes See Link to see the others.
I chose to move forward and not repeat the story of my previous employer many years ago again.
I have given this a lot of thought and reflection…..Instead of holding my grudge with him, I want to thank him for the opportunity I had to work with him, he gave me an opportunity to learn so much and put me in roles out of my comfort zone that made me better at what I could do. He had me rubbing shoulders with successful people and gave me experience with managing staff. He taught me about a range of areas that I benefited from and even to this day help me in my daily life.
If I would have moved to the other branch at the time, I may not be who I am today, I may not have met the people I know today, I may still be there and not ventured into my own business and I may not be sitting here writing this blog that you are reading.
Our journey takes us to where we need to be, lessons we need to learn and people we need to meet aren’t always on the path we want to be on.
Harboring resentment because things didn’t go the way I pictured it in my head is not practical and not healthy for the soul.
I have a simple message for my former boss and his freeloading secret partner “Thank you”
If you got to this point of my post… Thank you for reading 🙂